Hatters little home....

...because his deadjournal died.

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Watching people get stabbed at the M&M
 Yesterday I watched a person get stabbed. He'll probably survive and it was most likely avoidable and stupid. If you want more details you can ask.

I feel pent up, twisted, frustrated and like the threads that are holding me together will eventually fray and let go. I love Ally. I love her bunches, but tonight we got into a small tiff over how much area a chipmunk can see. We have been getting into more and more of these little fights and I hate it. I want to be happy with her, and I'm not sure if I'm the one who starts these things or not. I'm usually not mad at first, and it's always over something that really doesn't matter. What bothers me is that one, these fights start in the first place and two, that at some point in time ally tells me I'm mad at her, even when I'm not. Mad isn't the word, it never has been. I get mad when I'm told I'm mad. But until that moment its like....I don't know.

Jen and I didn't fight this way, we both just repressed things, which I know is more dangerous. I want to love ally forever, I want to be with her forever. But right now I am worried that our fighting is because of something deeper that neither of us are talking about. I hope I can find the strength to look at myself, look closely and see what this is all about. 

If not, it could mean a lot of pain in the future.


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